Decide Yourself

Sometimes without us realizing it, we often wait. Whenever we want to make a decision, we are waiting for the opinion of others. At the moment we are going to do something, we are also waiting for someone else to do it first. And when we want to work on something, we are waiting someone to ask us first. Worse, sometimes this is what we do because we look for reasons to blame others if a failure or problem occurs.

There is a phenomenon called “seek for approval.”

Many of us feel that if we want to do something we must have the approval from others, such as from someone we consider a leader, role model or authority over us (this is all on our own assumptions). If we feel “disapproved” then we won’t do it. Actually, we can’t blame this, because our culture generally likes to judge people. Just look at what’s been happening on social media lately. If someone makes a “mistake” according to the “rules” of the netizens, it will be widely blasphemed. But for those who are seen as role models, whatever they do will get praise, even if it’s just a show of luxury (which doesn’t necessarily belong to the role model).

Determining our own path and decisions does not mean ignoring the input, suggestion or advice from others, especially from those who are more experienced than us. For example, it has been said that you should not invest on something that are “too good to be true,” such as very unreasonable profit or return, yet people flock to those investments. While we still have to pay attention to the opinions of those who have knowledge and experience, but when we are making decisions on our own and we have to accept the results ourselves, never blame others.

Imagine a leader of a large company who has to make strategic decisions almost all the time, of course he still has to listen to the advice from the board of directors, advisors and information from the market. However, the decision still has to be made by himself. If he’s not sure, he can ask for a vote, but he still has to decide, and it’s impossible to ignore it. All the consequences that occur from his decision should be prepared for anticipation.

The point is, don’t depend on other people for anything about our ownlife. Don’t wait for other people’s approval to make decisions, especially about the future of our life. Sometimes we are right in our decisions, but often we are wrong. The consequences that occur must be anticipated, either in the form of success or failure. When hard consequences occur, it does not mean we are drowning, but we can still ask for help from other parties, and learn from these mistakes.

There is a saying that a donkey doesn’t hit the same stone twice. But as humans, it’s possible that we make the same mistakes over and over again. Learn from the mistakes that occur, improve and change the way what we do. The most important thing is not to give up, let alone be lazy and leave the decisions on our lives to others.



Rudy Darwis

Rudy Darwis


former CTO, aspired tech writer, fullstack developer, admin of